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Homeschooling - Part 2NOTICE: The following posts are taken from the Christian ADHD List. The names, e-mail addresses and locations of all parties involved have been removed to protect their privacy. The posts have been used with permission, but are copyrighted by ADHD of the Christian Kind. My son _____ just turned 11. This is our first year homeschooling. Yesterday when I first sat and read responses to topic I felt very thankful as the past couple days have gone by soooo smooth. _____ was up and eager to learn. Didn't 'humpf' over having to do any assignments, and actually would do more than I required of him. SURPRISE. So what do we as his parents do? We put our sensors down and go on like everything is perfect. WELL not today!!! It has been a battle. My reactions at times like this I'd love to say is calm, mature and full of godly wisdom. But I only manage this about 50% of the time. In these times, I hug him, tell him GOD made him and GOD don't make junk, pray with him (rebuking the devourer off his my emotions) and ask God to cover us with HIS precious peace, love and compassion. On tough days, we may have to stop and pray ALLOT. We may ask for a song of deliverance praise to be placed on our spirit. Then we just start singing and praising GOD. When the praises go up the blessings come down! (God never fails us when we go to HIM.) But that is why I feel God has us homeschooling anyhow. . .so _____ can see God in action as apart of his life and to be filled to overflowing with the WORD. With schooling we quote allot "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me" (Which is TRUTH we're speaking to counteract the doubt and words of death he may have expressed) (We feel very strongly about the power of our words bringing life (God) or death (Satan) so this is one major area the whole family is working on) I've found myself getting tense at time with schooling and realize after reading one of your inputs that I've not kept a tight reign on the inflection in my voice. I will be working towards a more moderate tone with little emotion. REMEMBER, God never gives us more than HE can bear. As this is our first year homeschooling I've asked God for a teachable spirit so I may learn how to discern different things coming at us and help head them off. I am learning some new methods of teaching him, that I am going to try, such as letting him "talk" his reports into a tape recorder, instead of having him write so much. I go over his spelling words list in his work books, and have him spell them all, and only give him the ones he doesn't know, and may even throw some of them out if they are unusual words. I have given him a post it note of each subjects assignments, listing them in order, with a hands on activity, then reading, then some writing, then a break. I let him take his tests open book, as he knows the information, and understands the concept and what must be learned, but is frustrated by the pressure. He is given one topic that he has to tell all he knows about, into the tape recorder, as part of his test. I think that this has helped him. I am going to be attending a seminar next week offered by a local hospital concerning ADHD, I hope to learn more, and am going to order some books. I wanted to share something about _____ (9yo) that maybe some of you can identify with. _____ is highly distractable and has great diffifulty focusing, but does not have the mood/impulse difficulties that ____ has. However, while _____ soaks up concepts so easily, _____ needs to be taught directly. He was a late reader, but has a lot of common sense. Anyway, my husband told me that _____ did not know the sun came up in the East!!!(I can't remember which direction he said he thought it rose from.) He is so different from _____, even though they both have ADD symptoms. For _____, home school is perfect as he needs the one on one and works well with gentle, firm structure. Right now, ______ is doing his math. What has helped him immensely with his math focusing, is knowing that once his math is completed and corrected, I will read aloud to him until 9;30 out of a book that I choose for his interest level. We are reading A Horse and HIs Boy right now. He really looks forward to that time and it has improved his accuracy as well as his speed. For us, we don't really have the tantrum problem, as _____ is almost 15 now. Instead, we have a constant stream of negotiations and pleadings and questions! The stress level is not as great now that we are homeschooling, but that in and of itself, brings a whole new set of issues. Instead of stressing over what the next teacher conference or report card is going to bring, I stress over how I'm going to keep him on track with algebra I or keep him from playing on the computers at the library. But at least now I know his academic progress is in my hands instead of the public schools'. That is a blessing all by itself! But I have to admit, structure and organization is the key to reducing the stress level of getting a certain amount of curriculum completed. It took alot of work to break everything down into manageable parts over the course of the year, but it keeps both of us focused on a week by week, month by month goal for work to be completed. (It definetly reduces the negotiation process he loves so well!) I got some information in the mail from Focus on the Family today! I had signed their guest book and mentioned that I have 1 possibly 2 sons with ADD/ADHD and they emailed me back that they were going to send me some resources and they did. As I was reading through them it gave me a great sense of relief, it said that children with ADD/ADHD often times, whether because of short attention span or other learning problems, have great difficulty in learning to read and that a child neurologist would help determine that! You have no idea the weight that has lifted! _____ (8) still isn't really reading, he can figure out how to spell 3 letter words, in fact, he aced his spelling test today, but reading is really tough for him. My parents, especially my Dad, have been VERY concerned, especially since I home school him. I've been scared to death that he won't be reading by Christmas and Daddy will say some things to me - again. I have two children who are ADD/ADHD. My oldest, did everything rather early. My daughter, though, read very late. In fact, I don't think she was really reading until third grade. I never understood how she got that far. Now, she's in gifted classes. Children mature and develop at different rates. I am also a second grade teacher, and I see it every year. Some children are just not ready to read. You can't do anything to make them ready either. Just read with them, expose them to reading, and keep on working with them. One day it just clicks. It's amazing, but if God made us all the same, we would never be meeting on the net either. _____, 9, also was a very late reader. He understood all the sounds in kindergarten, but still doesn't sound things out well (he's always putting in extra letters--especially an "L" whenever a word begins with "S"). He is much more of a "sight word" reader which bothers me as we just can't use that method for all words. He still doesn't like to read but seems to do rather well (I think he's about a grade level behind right now) and absolutely "HATES" to write. It gets him very frustrated and one would think I'd given him a death sentence. I'd really like to find out more about dyslexia. I know there are several kinds. My brother had it and saw things in reverse, a boss had it and letters swam on the page. I know itcan be hereditary and am beginning to have a concern along those lines. He may be dyslexic, but have a different form than I'm aware of. I am concerned about your County requirements? This sounds weird- are you sure this is what is really required in your State law? I have places to look them all up- including a special research project another group just finished on special needs laws in all States. I can't remember where you are but if you'll let me know I'll send you the right section. Not many places actually allow the County to set the requirements, and those that require a sampling of work usually mean one each from the beginning, middle, and end of each year. Meanwhile, why not plan the projects to coordinate with you doing some reading aloud, Charlotte Mason style? That can certainly be planned in a sequential manner. Yes it is true that my county requires a sequential course of study, a portfolio kept which includes a record of reading materials, planner, list of curricula used (it doesn't have to be textbooks), and a sample of his work. I also must have him tested or evaluated at the end of the year (no problem with this one--a fellow homeschooler evaluates him for me). This is written into the state law - Florida. I have the HSing law web site on my homeschooling webpage. My county requires more, but I ignore them because they can't enforce it. I guess my problem is that I need to learn "creative" recordkeeping. I have been lazy in doing this. It was easy when we were "doing" school at a certain time. _____ (7-ADHD, 2nd grade and most likely gifted) learns everything so easily and quickly that I am just holding him back. I have been tempted to get some 4th and 5th grade math books just to give him something interesting to do for math. And...he really hates reading aloud (me reading to him) because he always needs to be "doing" something. In Florida, if a child does not "pass" the achievement test (I believe the cut-off is 40%) then the parents have one year to improve the child's test scores. If the scores do not improve, then the child must go back to school (public or private--it is up to the parents). This makes me mad: where do kids who are failing public schools go? Are the public schools forced to send them home or to private schools? No. They just keep going on. Sorry, but I just don't think the state should have this kind of power over my children. But I submit to my governing authorities as the Bible instructs, as long as it does not go against what I believe the Bible requires of me as a parent, I obey. Sorry to digress so. I will step down from my soapbox now. As a praise report, with homeschooling and maturity _____'s behavioral problems aren't as severe as they were in public school. We realize what God has directed us to do may not be for everyone. Actually up to a year ago the thought of homeschooling was not an option for us as it was too much of a struggle. But this year we're being led in another direction. God's way is BEST. Anyway, we're so proud of _____. We are no way out of the dark completely but things are easier then when he was younger. We had a great time with homeschooling today. We've rearranged the schedule so that we start right after lunch when the baby takes his nap. The girls have played all morning and worked off some energy, and right after they eat the have enough energy for school. This is a good solution for us. Updated March 5, 1998In response to _____'s email about the upcoming school year I do have some questions regarding homeschooling because this will be our first year. We have made decisions regarding curriculum and that once we begin we will school year round. We took the summer of to "deschool" as was suggested by several novice homeschoolers over at Keyword: Homeschool. I guess what I really want to tell you is what we have planned so far, and then I would really love everyones input on what you think. Curriculum: We chose to go with School of Tomorrow. _____ (ADD) was using this curriculum last year at a private school for third grade and was doing very well with it. It also looked easy for me to "teach". I have one other child - her name is _____ and she will be in first grade this coming year. In addition, I would also like to get some unit studies to go through at a slow pace. I like the looks of the Adventure series that is offered in Great Christian Books as well as the Little House on the Prairie Unit Study. Homeschool Group: We are joining a homeschool group that is associated with a Christian School in our area. I look forward to meeting with these homeschoolers for support and also field trips. We will also have access to speech meets, spelling bees, etc. I am going to try and be as structured as possible because _____ seems to respond better when he knows exactly what is expected and when. My plan is to school in the morning four days a week year round. We are also going to try not putting _____ back on Ritalin for homeschooling. _____ has been off Ritalin since the end of school and on the whole has been doing okay; however, slowly but surely his temper has been getting the better of him. This only happens once a week to once every two weeks, but when it happens they are major episodes and I don't know how much more I can take. (Yesterday was a quite a day). How many of you have found that you don't need the medication because you are home, and how many of you have found that you need it anyway? I am not against using it for homeschooling, I was justing hoping we wouldn't have to. I was also hoping to find a service activity for the kids to be involved in. I was hoping they could work at the Library putting books away - anyway I was going to ask. Does anyone else do this or have other ideas for community service volunteer work. Both of my kids are also very involved in sports. We are just finishing up summer baseball and will be starting fall soccer real soon. The only break we get from sports is in January and February between soccer and spring baseball/softball. Being involved in sports has helped us all a lot in burning off some of that extra energy that _____ always seems to have. Anyway, any responses would be great. Since I am new to all this I still have those little "unsure" questions. Any suggestions, especially regarding working with the ADD, would defintely be appreciated. _____ -- Hang in there. You're not alone. The first year of HS is the toughest, satan testing us to see if we are serious about our comittment. Once you get through it, you'll be able to take a deep breath and relax a bit more. Just take one day at a time. Re: Creative Recordkeeping -- I have a whole list of these from when we were in Missouri and needed to *log* hours in each subject. As virtually *everything* in real life is education, one of the sessions I attended at the state HS convention dealt with *creative recordkeeping*. I think it's in a pile I need to get filed away before we move and will post it as soon as I find it (soon I hope). For example: many things can be used as math--yesterday my daughter and I listed the dimensions of all her rabbit cages, storage shelves, and countertop. We then went to the new house and took measurements to see how she was going to be able to fit everything in. Used LOTS of math for this one as well as logic, reasoning, and critical thinking skills. The Lord touched me this morning with your problems with _____. I really pray the blood tests and the resuming Ritalin are what you need. We are probably going to begin my daughter on it tomorrow. I am also following the herbal discussions, because I have heard they work, but I don't know if I could get her to take them. But I am also wondering about the homeschooling. You mention this is your first year, and it is possible some of your problems have more to do with your curriculum and expectations than with his ADD. The first year of homeschooling, the most important thing you and your child need to learn is how to work together. He needs time to de-school, and to accept you in the new role of teacher/mentor/facilitator. You need to learn how he learns, and how to choose curriculum that you can both work with. There is almost nothing that you can do wrong in any one year of homeschool, so relax a little and learn to learn together. That's right- part of your problem MAY be your curriculum. If you bought A Becka, or BJU, or Calvert... any of the school-at-home, sit at a desk and Mom teaches everything from the textbooks type programs. I'm certainly not running these down- I've used many of their things and they are excellent. But the desk/teacher/student thing doesn't work well for many of us. I use Charlotte Mason [method], with an emphasis on projects and hands-on activities while I read most of the literature core aloud. It works well for us. You should spend some time looking at your curriculum and your son, and seeing if they fit each other. Updated March 30, 1998RE: Moodiness and Motivation I am having a hard time with the moodiness and motivation. Question: how do you positively handle the fussiness or constant complaints of not wanting to do this or that? I want to be able to deal with it myself better. _____, 6, doesn't have to respond a lot better, but I would like improvement myself. I have been wondering whether she needs to go to school. I don't know what's best for her and myself anymore. I thought homeschooling was what God want us to do, but if I don't learn what to expect from her, more patience with her, and more control for myself, then I don't feel like I am what is best for her. I am trying to gain God's wisdom and His creativity, but right now I don't know what the best way to respnd to her moodiness is. I am asking that God would make the verse about his grace being sufficient real. Any ideas? I want others to please, please respond to this. But I have a few comments I would like to make. I want to respond to the part about us moms feeling inadequate and failing to deal with our children the way we think we should, and maybe they would be better in school instead of around us all day. (NOTE: I daydream about having _____ in school all day and what a peaceful day we would have, but the Lord never releases me to do this. I am trying to keep from thinking about it because I know I should be content with where the Lord has me.) I know that it is difficult for us moms to be home all day and all night with our ADD/ADHD children. I know it challenges our character every moment of those days, especially when we are expected to train and teach them gently and patiently. I would like us to consider whether we are growing through the experience (growing in the Lord and His character and righteousness). On another loop there was a question about how many miscarriages a woman should have before preventing pregnancy all together. The final consensus was that since we grow greatly from experiencing loss and suffering, that it was of our benefit to continue to yield that area to the Lord. I think we have a similar situation. Are we constantly being challenged to grow in the Lord, seek His wisdom for daily dealing with our children? Will the influences they receive from being in school benefit them more, or less, than being kept at home? Is our flesh being crucified in order to deal graciously with our children, without anger and frustration? I think the Lord does not want us to shrink back from difficulty, but to receive hardship as discipline, ultimately growing in our relationship with the Lord. Read Hebrews 12, especially vs. 2-13. "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons [daughters]." v. 7. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." v. 11. For those who have their children in school, I am not condemning that decision. Each family must prayerfully seek the Lord for direction in this area. I just wanted to give you food for thought. I really don't know if the answer I have is what you are looking for, but here goes. First of all, I agree that myself like you need to be able to respond better. It is so hard to handle your own frustrations and anger when you have a child that is completely flying off the handle. One thing we have done for our kids in getting them to do there work without too much trouble is to set a time limit. I realize this probably wouldn't work too well if you are unschooling or doing unit studies, but if you are using a curriculum this could work well. You will have to find the motivating factor for your child though. For _____ it is loss of daily priveleges as well as any given day of exceeding the time limits means no soccer game/or baseball depending on the season that weekend. Soccer means the world to _____ and he doesn't want to miss it for anything. With the curriculum that we are using the kids can be done in 1 to 1 1/2 hours, so we set a time limit of 2 hours. Now, this is not to say that if they were having difficulty and were working really hard that entire two hours that the time would not be extended. But, I reserve this option for those days (like this past monday) when he chose to work for an hour and then sit and do nothing for the next hour. So, he will miss his soccer game this weekend. The rest of the week has gone much better and in fact he is completely caught up at this point. Hope this is helpful to someone, it sure has helped in our house to keep all from dwadling all day over one thing. Continue to Homeschooling- Part 3 |
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