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Disagreement on Treatment, Marriage

NOTICE: The following posts are taken from the Christian Special Needs parenting List. The names, e-mail addresses and locations of all parties involved have been removed to protect their privacy. The posts have been used with permission, but are copyrighted by Christian Kind.

We have a son 11yrs old who was diagnosed 3 months ago with ADHD. I feel so much for him. I pray over him at night while he sleeps and all day. It's been additionaly hard for us because my husband has such a fear of medicating him. We do behavioral christian counseling, he takes fish oil, i've tried dietary changes and my son still struggles with impulsivity, irritability, focusing. Please pray for our family. If anyone can give me some encouragement right now it would really help. My husband is a good Godly man and this is the first time in our 16 years of marriage that we have been in total disagreement about one of our children. I want to try medication because my son is progressively getting more depressed and more irritable. He seems never happy. I could go on and on please pray for our family.

We also have an 11 yr old. He has been medicated off and on for six years. We homeschool him and he is focused only when on the medication. We have tried all of the major meds and the one that works best for him is Ritilin LA. It is a longer lasting meds. I get a good 6-8 hrs with this med.(we don't school that long) We tried the regular Ritalin but it didn't last as long. The main draw back to all of the meds is loss of appetite. We have lost up to ten pounds. We found that the depression will also go away. You need to get the right dosage though. The doctors also give him Adderal for when we need a night time activity (like scouts or things that will really set him off). We have the descretion of when or if we use it. All of our sons blood work comes back with no side affects of any liver damage or growth problems. The doctor that we use is a behavior doctor not a ped.

Our philosphy is that what these children have is a chemical imbalance in the brain and the medication fixed the imbalance and the child can function. We take heart, headache, etc medication for us but somehow we can't see that our children need this for them. We have tried the Fieingold diet and other alternative measures but none seem to help.

I am interested in learning about your counseling. Our son is HF autistic, mentally challenged (doing 1st grade work), ODD, auditory processing disorder, dyslexia. He has many issues but we are trying to keep him on an even tempered level. He doesn't understand displine. He holds a grudge and is always telling us we are mean. Please pray for us also.

One thing that really made a difference about 18 months ago was that we detoxified our son's brain. We were able to take out the bad chemicals like mercury. We used drops daily and we saw a signicant change in him. We are thinking about doing it again. There is no side effects from this. There are also special vitamins you can give to these children.

They don't mean to be this way. They truly want to please and do what is right. We have found that the company they keep also have a great influence on what goes on with their minds.

We have a 9 year old son with ADD. Every day is a struggle. I will pray for you that God would give you the wisdom to make the right decision for your son and your family. One thing to keep in mind is that if God did not want these meds available he would not have given the scientist the wisdom to make them. We prayed for quite awhile before putting our son on meds. We decided that if it didn't work we could always nix the whole thing. I pray that you would have peace about this and that your son improves quickly after you decide what path you are going to take.

I don't have your Husbands e-mail address, so please pass this message on to him. With his permission I would like to offer him and you a bit of a different perspective that hopefully will help you in choosing an effective treatment protocol for your son.

I am a 47 year old male that was clinically diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago. I have known that I had it for 20 years but was able to "deal" with it. I have a 10 year old son that was diagnosed at age 6. Settled on Drug therapy along with behavior modications at age 8. I know that I and my wife are among the elect and that God's plan is perfect. We too, had concerns about drug therapy. My wife is a Pharmacist and was against it because she felt ADHD was over diagnosed. It was an excuse to make up for bad parenting, etc... She was humbled, perhaps that was part of HIS plan. We both prayed for healing, and while miracles do happen, we came to the conclusion that this is God's plan and we will handle it with HIS guidance.

Both of us are marveled at the change in our son. ADHD is real. Read as much as you can about this illness.The Drug therapies are amazingly effective.

While growing up I was the "high strung " kid. Last kid picked in most games because while I had good athletic skills, every now and then I would not see the ball that was hit/thrown to me because I was looking somewhere else. But I dealt with it

Because I got really angry and upset, sometimes violently when things didn't go as I thought that they should. I really never got invited to those spend the night parties and such. But I dealt with it

I could have been a much better student in High School . Grades should have been much better for a "bright Boy that would do much better if he applied himself" "I forgot that we had a test today "... " I did that home work I just keep forgetting to turn it in" But I dealt with it.

Managed to graduate from college. But who knew that when you got a job it mattered if I got to work on time?? "I'm almost finished with that I'll get back to you." But three jobs later I was able to deal with it .

Why this bio??

Prayerfully consider the best treatment for your child, the decision on which way to go rests solely with your husband. But let me say this.... from a person with ADHD that is now being treated.

WOW. I can be on time. I can remember to pick up my daughter from dance. I can help my son with home work. I can now be engaged in a sermon with out drifting away. God does speak to me through his word.( My Pastor's sermons are regularly an hour or more )

I can be the Godly example for my children and ladywife.

Study after study have shown that the treatments are safe with no major drawbacks as long as monitored by your Physician. Drug therapy is nothing to be ashamed of. Technically the fish oil treatments are a form of drug therapy. Its not naturally ocurring in our bodies, you gave him that, is there any real difference between that and giving ritalin or adderall? Besides the fact that ritalin and adderall work.

Please consider your son's social development. Inapproprate behavior mkes it hard to make and have friends. Parents would prefer that you "invite another little boy over". His behavior cannot be fully corrected by discipline. Read and understand the illness and you'll see why this is. You really can forget something in 5 seconds. ADHD is not a learned condition, it is hardwired.

Homework time can be much easier on you and the rest of the family. Treated he will be able to focus and complete the work. I venture to say he is capapble of doing the work, the issue I'm sure is just getting him to quit complaining about doing it and just doing it. ADHD suffers are typically very smart anf gifted people. Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein to name two. We no longer have significant homework issues.

Getting ready for school in the Morning is so much easier. We have 4 school-aged children. Prior to treatment the ADHD child usually made everybody else late because he would still be undressed sitting on the floor analyzing a piece of lint on the carpet, rather than getting dresssed.

I know this is lengthy but I feel this is one of my fruits.

Please put your child first when it comes to treatment options. Do not let stigma, cost get in the way. GOD has allowed the invention of these treatment methods. IF you have a headache you take an aspirin. If you have allergies you take Zyrtec. If you you have high blood pressure or seizures you take medication for that. ADHD is no different.

Whether the LORD leads you to Drug therapy or not. Please Let people know his situation. Let folks know his behavior is what it is is because of ADHD but you are working on modifications. Not to excuse it, but to understand that you are working on changing it. You will be amazed at how many people have this condition and you didn't know it. (because most are treated and are behaving acceptably).

The web site we use is Brainchild Nutritionals. Spend time reading the web site and all of the information that pertains to you. Go the the product information and then scroll down to natural detoxification. We used the Celullar Zeolite. It is used for austic children to detox the brain, among other things. It isn't only for Autistic children but they have had great results in speech verbalization.

Our son was only able to say three and four word sentences. Now he can talk up a blue streak. It was just amazing after three months the difference in our son. People were coming up to us and remarking how much better he was.

The Spectrum support 1 and 2 we have not done due to finances.

We are ones that believe that autism was as a result of faulty vaccines. Our son spoke a little up until age two. Then he didn't say anything until 4 1/2. Then the three word sentences up until 2007. Then his vocabulary has exploded. Like I said he has other issues but seeing the progress he has make in the last two years, we really feel that God is teaching him through us as parents. Isaiah 54:13

We have homeschooled since K and it has been a long process since he is just now getting into the 1st grade work. Our son thinks he is going into 6th but that is alright. Since December we are no longer going backwards. We know he absorbs, we just need to help him recall. Lots of prayers.

I hope this is helpful. We have prayed about what to do and this was what was laid on our hearts. The people at this company will talk with you about your concerns. Nurses are always there and sometimes a doctor too. The founder passed away last fall.

I hope this will be of importance to you and others.